Jokes in category: “diets”:

I've nearly finished the pills the doctor gave me to stop me from being so greedy.
I want some more.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Earlier today a fat girl said she was uncomfortable with her body,
I'd be uncomfortable too If I had to carry all that weight around.

Submitted by: giorgiss

These anaemic people can really take a leaf from Iron Man's book..

Submitted by: giorgiss

I absolutely REFUSE to swallow my pride.
The last thing I need in my diet right now is more empty calories

Submitted by: giorgiss

Started my diet this morning. Already lost 2 pounds.
The coin fell down the side of the car seat and my hands are too fat to squeeze down there.

Submitted by: giorgiss

What's the difference between a Leeds girl and an elephant?
Two stone.
How do you make them the same?
Give the elephant a sandbag.

Submitted by: giorgiss

My mate bet me a tenner I couldn't come up with a good Vegetarian joke...
I had a few, but gave him the money there and then.
They were all to Quorny...

Submitted by: giorgiss

I don't know why girls are so touchy about saying how much they weigh, it's not going to stop people seeing how fat they are.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I've just started at slimming world and it's brilliant, you're allowed 15 sins a day.
I've been doing gluttony and sloth today.

Submitted by: giorgiss

On a whim I named my cat Hamburger Helper. The funny thing was it tasted like chicken.

Submitted by: giorgiss