Neighbour: "I was wondering if you could check your shed only my Cat has gone missi.."
Me: "-Before we go any further, Margaret, is there a reward?"
Neighbour: "Well, Yes...I imagine..?"
Me: "-How much?"
Neighbour: "I suppose, Twenty pounds?"
Me: "In that case, No, I haven't seen your cat.."
"Which is a shame because I did hear a noise..."
Neighbour: "Oh really, what sort of a noise?"
Me: "...Kind of like a Fifty pound-noise"Submitted by: giorgiss
My next door neighbour was desperate to go shopping and asked me to watch her kids that evening...
...apparently, through their bedroom window, whilst wearing a nappy and nipple clamps wasn't what she had in mind.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've had enough of my blonde next door neighbour...
It's time to make a move on her mum.Submitted by: giorgiss
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.Submitted by: giorgiss
My neighbour Is so annoying he bangs on the wall so loud sometimes that i cant even hear myself drilling
Submitted by: giorgiss
My neighbour is committing fraud, she's got a "Baby on Board" sign in the back window of her Car.
She hasn't even got a baby.
It died yesterday.Submitted by: giorgiss
I had to climb Hadrian's wall earlier.
My neighbour never gives my football back.Submitted by: giorgiss
The kid next door booted a football into my garden, so I punctured it with a knife.
He almost bled to death but I think he learnt his lesson.Submitted by: giorgiss
I found out today, that arguments about fences are the major cause of feuds between neighbours.
So I went and took our neighbours fence down, just in case.Submitted by: giorgiss
My neighbours hate it when I talk to my plants just before I go to bed. They're in luck tonight though, the batteries of my megaphone ran out.
Submitted by: giorgiss
