I hate street performers.
Then again, I'm a mime, so I can't really talk.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was in a nightclub queue when two blokes in front of me started arguing.
One guy pushed the other and said, "Four, nine."
The other man pushed him back and said, "Sixteen, twenty-five."
A bouncer reached for his walkie-talkie and said, "I need some help at the door. We've got a couple of men squaring up."Submitted by: giorgiss
After realising that I had accidentally eaten my clone, I shat myself.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Check this one out:
1.Submitted by: giorgiss
Some say a world without sin is ideal, but I disagree. After all, there's only so many problems which can be answered with cos and tan.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just been diagnosed with a tumour. I was horrified at first, but it's starting to grow on me.
Submitted by: giorgiss
The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle.
It really was a vile inn.Submitted by: giorgiss
The kitchen staff really helps my wife get the cooking done quicker.
I say staff... but really it's just a big stick I use to beat her with.Submitted by: giorgiss
If you're always organizing things, you have OCD. If you're always eating things, you have OBCD.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I just want to thank the girl who ran with me for the last few kilometres of the Great Manchester Run yesterday, not wearing a sports bra. Your lack of support got me through.
Submitted by: giorgiss
