I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.
Then it dawned on me.Submitted by: giorgiss
A man ended up in hospital today, covered in wood and hay, with a horse inside him.
His condition is described as stable.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was sacked yesterday for being a pervert.
I don't understand why, I'm always hard at work.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife has packed her bags and gone - just because of my fetish with touching pasta.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes.
We haven't done a gig yet.Submitted by: giorgiss
I heard one of the best jokes I've ever heard in my life yesterday!
It was about an anti-climax.Submitted by: giorgiss
My sister turned off the TV on me whilst I was watching it today. After a few moments of staring at the blank screen, I thought to myself, "That's not on".
Submitted by: giorgiss
I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy. This pan he sold me doesn't fly at all.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My girlfriend and I ended up having the mother of all breakups last night, the underlying message being that my "sense of direction was causing huge problems in the relationship".
Eventually, tired and frustrated, I stood up, packed my things and right.Submitted by: giorgiss
My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.
I asked her, "What can I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Whatever means necessary."
"No it doesn't," I said.Submitted by: giorgiss
