If anyone ever tells you they've lost their voice,
They're lying.Submitted by: giorgiss
A new nightclub has just opened down the road and they are offering free drinks all night for just under 20 quid...
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 19.99Submitted by: giorgiss
I put some body spray on last night, but I only managed to pull Anne Robinson.
It must have been the weakest Lynx.Submitted by: giorgiss
My girlfriend got sacked from work and then lost her appeal.
I only found her appealing because she had a well paid job.Submitted by: giorgiss
My girlfriend said, "Fancy a bit of phone fun tonight?"
I said, "Yeah, definitely. Let's call your mum and tell her you've died."Submitted by: giorgiss
I went bob-sleighing last week.
I managed to kill Bob Geldof and Bob Hoskins.Submitted by: giorgiss
I'll never forget the day I met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate.
They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten.
I knew there and then, she was the one.Submitted by: giorgiss
CNN News "Tree Falls On Bank"
Does anyone know what branch?Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw a slide with an 85 degree incline for sale the other day for 1000.
I thought that's a bit steep.Submitted by: giorgiss
'Wolfgang Mozart!' said Mozart's friend
'What?' said Mozart
And then they were both eaten by a gang of wolves.Submitted by: giorgiss
