When having a terrible day, say "I bet it will become worse" that way if it does, at least you can feel good that you were right about something.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I just noticed that my boxers have a label on them that says "part of a set" ... I am a little upset that I didn't get the matching bra ...
Submitted by: giorgiss
I hate tele-sales people, they always find new ways to annoy you. For instance, this week i've been getting loads of calls from a bunch of them just gargling water down the phone at me...
Must be an 'in' joke i suppose.Submitted by: giorgiss
The state of our roads is getting worse and dangerous.
Saw this black man crossing the road who tripped and fell because of a pothole. Poor sod then got hit by a truck.
Still, on the upside, pothole filled and tarmac like new.Submitted by: giorgiss
While walking past the cinema I discovered that the only reason the lines for Twilight are so long is that they consist of nothing but fat girls.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I've been on this dating site for years now and not got a single date out of it.
I described myself as an energetic, dominant man who likes astronomy, outdoor pursuits and hunting.
Perhaps I should've used a different name to Night Stalker.....Submitted by: giorgiss
So few people now buy CD singles that Scotch have managed to score a Top 10 hit with 'Laser Lens Cleaner'.
Submitted by: giorgiss
At the job seeker's interview:
"What job would you really like to do?"
"I have always wanted to be a lollipop man."
"Oh. I'm afraid that is for retired people."
"Not to worry, I can wait."Submitted by: giorgiss
You can equate how rough an area is by the amount of times you find yourself thinking to yourself,
"Is that her dad or her boyfriend?"Submitted by: giorgiss
What's the difference between Burberry and a Facebook Comedian?
Burberry uses its own material.Submitted by: giorgiss
