Stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewhere
Submitted by: giorgiss
With a slight hesitation, I nervously inserted a finger: it felt warm and wet. She groaned.
"I'm gonna need more than that," she said.
Taking a breath, I then inserted three more fingers. Her eyes widened.
"Go on, put your whole hand in," she demanded.
I wanted to please her, so I did what she said: I was really sweating by now but she was getting more and more excited.
"It's no good, you're gonna have to put your other hand in as well" she shouted.
I closed my eyes and thrust forward with my other hand and she let out a scream.
"There you go Dave, it's not that hard to do the washing up is it?" she smiled.Submitted by: giorgiss
Went round to my girlfriends father last night and asked if I could marry his Daughter
"Ask her Mother" he said
"Nah I would rather marry your Daughter" I saidSubmitted by: giorgiss
Human being | (H)yoo man bee ing) |
n.
A creature who cuts trees, makes paper, and writes 'Save Trees' on the same paper.Submitted by: giorgiss
Why does the government say it is unacceptable to endure a 3 hour delay at Heathrow, but it seems OK on the M6 ?
Submitted by: giorgiss
A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other up, and both realise they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.
Rear toilet? he suggests.
Five minutes, she agrees, and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her.
Right, get that condom on, she says. Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure.
But a sharpeyed stewardess has noticed them, and realised what they are up to. So she humiliates them both by making an announcement over the tannoy.
To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet. We know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector."Submitted by: giorgiss
These Boy-bands seem to love their fathers.
Boyzone covered "Father and Son" as a tribute to their Dads...
Westlife performed alongside their Dads on ITV...
And now The Wanted have released a song thanking their Dads for everything...
"Glad you Came".Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought a new toy for my son yesterday. It's a kind of puzzle that has apparently been designed by psychologists to prepare children for the harsh reality of modern life.
No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.Submitted by: giorgiss
I hate conspiracy theorists. I'm sure they're all working together somehow to bring down society.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Studies showed that Mac users are more environmentally friendly than Windows users.
So why does the Mac have a rubbish bin and Windows has a recycling bin?Submitted by: giorgiss
