I found out why Toblerone is triangular today.
So it fits in the box.Submitted by: giorgiss
Never get stuck behind the devil in a post office queue.
For the devil can take many forms.Submitted by: giorgiss
There is now a facebook group called "I'm not posh I just speak better English than you."
Shouldn't there be a comma there?Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife tried to humiliate me by pointing out my Pokemon obsession in front of our entire family.
It was super effective.Submitted by: giorgiss
I don't take orders from anyone.
Which is most probably why my restaurant went bust.Submitted by: giorgiss
At this time of year, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.
And that's why I'm no longer a fireman.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was late walking into a very important meeting today.
"Sorry, boss," I said, quickly sitting down.
I put my briefcase and a doner kebab on the table and said, "Right, carry on."
My boss looked at our important clients, then he looked at me and said, "What's with the doner kebab, Dave?"
I said, "Just some salad and a bit of chilli sauce."Submitted by: giorgiss
My computer beat me at chess a few days ago.
It was no match for me at kick-boxing though.Submitted by: giorgiss
Poker players....
Lull your opponents into a false sense of security by shouting out "SNAP!" on the first hand.Submitted by: giorgiss
I tried grilling a chicken at lunchtime.
"Right, I'll ask you one more time. Why did you cross the road?"Submitted by: giorgiss
