I'm sure my mates like me but sometimes I don't understand them.
Like, just this morning I looked in the mirror and they had written 'TNUC' on my forehead.
What does that mean?Submitted by: giorgiss
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you
The more you have the longer you liveSubmitted by: giorgiss
"I made a new discovery at work today," I said to my wife with a chuckle.
"You've worked at Land Rover for a week, and that joke's already wearing thin," she groaned.Submitted by: giorgiss
CALENDAR FACT: All the seasons are named after coils of metal.
Except Winter and Summer.
And Autumn.Submitted by: giorgiss
I don't know what all the fuss is about Window 7 - I just opened mine and all I got was a little chocolate mouse. Whose idea was that?
Submitted by: giorgiss
"Ladies and gents."
That concludes our tour of the toilets.Submitted by: giorgiss
My mum ran off with the milkman when I was eight years old.
Watching them drive away on his float were the worst three hours of my life.Submitted by: giorgiss
I said to my housemate, "Wanna hear a joke?"
He goes, "Alright then."
"What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?"
"I don't know," he said.
"You're disgusting."Submitted by: giorgiss
Warning signs these days are getting ridiculous.
'Warning, contains nuts' on a pack of nuts, 'Please mind the gap' when stepping off a train.
What are we, idiots?
I even saw one the other day telling me to refuse to be put in a bin.Submitted by: giorgiss
Women, here is a reason that you will never be equal to men.
I asked my girlfriend to record something for me on ITV2 +1.
She recorded ITV3.Submitted by: giorgiss
